SlowTime

  I never really think of myself as depressed, you see. It's more like being in  hibernation.  I don't dwell on negative topics.  I don't get sad, or dwell on dark thoughts. I just kind of lose steam. I'll still work on whatever I have in process, but  end not to start anything new.  I remain curious.  I read, listen to music, play games.  I go online and talk to friends and relatives, play my guitar.  But I don't do these things with the same attention or gusto,  it's more like treading water until my mojo comes back. 

The problem isn't an internal one.  The problem is how I am perceived. People  are so used to  other people who are upbeat and energetic.  They have also been taught about depression, an illness that effects a lot of people.  I am not one of them.  I don't suffer from depression, I really don't suffer at all, I just kind of slow down.  I also grow thoughtful and introspective.  I don't know why, but a lot of people seem to view such thoughtfulness as somehow dangerous.  Deep thinking isn't understood or acceptable.  

That in a nutshell is the problem i've always had. I like to think. It makes me feel whole.  When I get contemplative in the winter, I am content, whole, happy.  I only want people to accept that.